Talk to the Expert at Least Once A Day

              Another boring day, Carol thought while she was making her usual coffee around 3.30 pm. She was wondering, it wasn't even the proper time for tea, but who cares. She feels like having coffee so she does. How many things in a typical humans life can actually be controlled by themselves? *sigh* Even the simplest routine of urinating each day can't really be controlled. If it urges to come out, you have to let it out. How can one actually think of controlling some very important thing of life?

            Nice coffee she thought. Strong smell of coffee and of course she added a tablespoon of cocoa powder to have the feel of drinking mocha. I'm hilarious. She was happy that she was owning that private joke. As usual, she sat at the living room, switching from one channel to another. Another boring entertaining activity full of crappy programs on air. 

          What was happening to her life? Few months just slipped away of her being at home doing nothing. The same old routine of her being alone in that apartment Each day was spent looking outside her window, eating and eating and eating and sleeping again. She gained nothing out if it except for weight. She gained lots of weight. Everyone loses weight worrying, but she was a total opposite. She gained weight worrying because she binge that much. Why wasn't she happy? Even the stray dog was happy she thought. 

               She sighed again. She switched off her television, her hand phone, and opened all the windows and her sliding door wide. She changed into a pair of leggings and a singlet. She inserted a DVD of calm music of waterfall and birds and sat right in the middle of her living room. She did the first set of yoga. She felt as if her bones were frozen. She wasn't as flexible as she used to be. She gave up. She didn't finish what she started. She just couldn't. She lied down on the floor, looking at the ceiling. Even tough, she didn't really succeeded in doing yoga, her sweat was dripping at the back of her body. 

"Maybe I should cook today and treat myself with some NICE and HEALTHY food", she said to herself. 

"NICE and HEALTHY..NICE and HEALTHY..HEALTHY..HEALTHY..HEALTHY", she mentioned again and again.

          She just wanted to cut down the extra calories she was consuming these days and of course she wanted to get back to the shape. The shape where she looked good in every outfit she tried on. She showered and put on some comfortable clothes and headed to the kitchen.

           Cabbage, chicken, baked beans, fish balls, nuggets, broccoli, condensed milk and a container of rotten curry. She thought of making some nice sweet and sour chicken and broccoli soup. Just as she began to clean the kitchen sink piled up with mugs and plates, she dropped one mug full of water. She had to clean that up. She broke down. She cried her eyes out sitting beside the broken mug cursing herself for breaking it. She knew that she was being overly emotional. 

             After crying her eyes out, she sat on the kitchen cabinet. She wondered, what has happened all her life and what has actually caused her to be like this? After long hours of thinking. She understood that everything has happened and nothing can be undone. She knew that the only solution she had was to wake up let bygones be bygones and live her life again. She knew about the people who has betrayed her, people who forced her to be who she is not and the wrong decisions she has made in her life that has caused her life to be such a mess. NOW SHE GOT IT!! Nothing can ever be changed. All she can do is, mend her life and try to solve the problems and gain the trust of people who has lose it on her. 

              Now, everything seemed much better. She was going to clean up her apartment, clean the fridge, wash the toilets and go to bed early. She is going to wake up early and do exercise. She is going to join back into whatever she was doing and this time actually make everyone else proud.The one thing that she realized that day was, no one can be a better adviser than you yourself. Pick a correct time once a day and reflect yourself. Ask yourself whether it is right to do so or not. No one knows what is best for us except our own judge within ourselves.