Silent apology

"Thank you and please come again". I uttered the normal good bye phrase to my customer and turned to the counter to check the new books that arrived that morning. I squat down to  lift them from the floor when i heard the bells on the glass door ringing. I stood up and to my surprise it was him. He took a half day leave today? I smiled at him, "Hey baby! You look tired and why are you here in the midday?".

He wasnt smiling at me. He walked towards the counter where I was standing and sighed. I knew something was wrong. My heart was beating faster and I could feel the sudden rise in my blood pressure. I gathered some courage to question him again, "Baby, are you okay?"

"Well, I am certainly not. You can see that I guess".

Crap! Im screwed again! What did I do this time??!?!

"Why is that so baby?" I tried to act cool and moved near him and held his hand.

He pushed my hand away and walked to a nearby bookshelf and spoke in a quiet tone, "you lied to me..How can you do that? You went out with your so called best friend again, but you told me you were having breakfast with one of your customers..How do you think that made me feel?"

Okay!! Fuck!! Im in deep deep shit right now. How am I going to explain..tell the truth..tell the truth..

"Baby, I am so sorry..Okay I admit. I did went out with him this morning. He was having some trouble with his girlfriend. He needed his best friend which is me to help him out. All I did was to give him my ears. He needed to talk to someone".

"Yeah okay! Cool! But you could have told me that he needs you now and that you needed to help him. Even tough, I hate him to every part of my cell I would have let you go. What you did broke my heart..You made me feel miserable.."

I saw him. His eyes were tearing. I felt like killing myself. Before I continued he spoke again "Why are you doing this to me? Dont lie to me. I love you a lot. Be honest with me. Dont make me feel as if I am an abusive man who doesnt let you do what you want. You are free. I dont know what to say".

I quickly moved to his side when the bells ring and a group of school kids  walked in again smiling brightly at me. I had to leave him and go to them to ask what they wanted. As I approached them, he walked pass me out of the glass door leaving me all alone in the crowd.

It was half past seven in the evening. I locked the bookstore and walked up the staircase to my house. I sat a little while in the swing in the living room trying to digest what happened today. I really made him mad. I felt miserable and the only way to make myself feel better was to shut up and sleep. I walked into my bedroom and looked at our picture on the dresser. He was embracing me in his arms and I was smiling at him like sunshine. I opened the drawer and took out some medicines and popped them into my mouth and went to bed.

I woke up with a slight headache. I opened my eyes and noticed the bedroom chair has moved and he was sitting there. I wondered if I was dreaming. Everything was so dreamy due to the medicines I consumed. He was looking at me intensely. My heart almost stopped. How long has he been here watching me sleep?

"Hey", I whispered

He moved slightly from his chair. I half expect him to kiss me, but he did not. He sat back, continuing to regard me, his expression impassive.

"Hello", he finally said.

Slowly I pull myself up into a sitting position, not taking my eyes off him. My mouth is dry. "How long have you been sitting there watching me sleep?"

"Long enough".

He gazed at me, as if considering his response. I uttered, "Are you mad?".

"Mad? Way beyond mad...that doesnt sound good".

A stark silence streches between us.  He sighs heavily, as if he is been holding this tension for a thousand hours. He looks beautiful. Mad, but beautiful. He is back, angry but in one piece.

"Dont be so cold to me".

His eyebrows rise in surprise once more. "Cold is not what im feeling at the moment. I am burning. Burning with rage. I dont know how to deal with this".

Hell no. His honesty disarmed me. I moved, taking him by surprise and climbing awkwardly into his lap, where I curled up. He did not push me away, which was what I'd feared. After a beat, he folded his arms around me and buried his nose in my hair. He smells of his perfume and body wash too. He smells of heaven. I wrapped my arms around his neck and nuzzle his throat, and he sighs once more, deeply this time. No more words were needed. He held me tighter. I didnt even needed to apologize to him. Everything fell into places and i fell asleep again in his arms.