People Almost Always Leave

 "ERROR 404! ERROR 404!" only that was appearing on Jamie's laptop screen. She was trying to load a page and it refused to appear. She got frustrated and slammed her laptop shut and stood up from her chair. She put the laptop into her bag and started walking out of the library back to her apartment. She wasn't focusing on anything. She slept through class hours and her behavior changed so much. She was not the type who get easily irritated or annoyed but now, everything was different. Even a slight joke would turn her upset. 

She quietly unlocked her room door and sat on her bed wondering why she was becoming like that. She stared through the walls of her room. It was a pleasant blue in color and the room was windy. She knew that she was missing something in her life. Jamie took the book that was placed on her pillow and placed it against her chest and lay straight down on her bed. She stared at the ceiling and slowly closed her eyes. She felt the hardcover of the books underneath her palm. She held the book tighter as tears streamed down her cheeks. 

People change, their priorities change. Jamie remembered how she used to be an independent girl until someone came along. Jamie was the girl who would mind her business and do her work all by herself. She would wake up, go to classes, do her tutorials, revise, read books and sleep. That was her daily routine all about. Well, at least that is what people around her assumed she did all day. Behind all that typical student life, Jamie would work as a bakery girl in a nearby bakery and sell handmade pop up cards to support her extra expenses. 

One day, Jamie was travelling on light rail transit to a mall to buy some stationary for her upcoming pop up card project. As the rail stopped at a particular station, a bunch of men with similar uniforms entered her particular couch giggling and talking to themselves. A tall guy came very near Jamie and started to brush his hand against Jamie's waist. Jamie tried to move from there when he totally grabbed her from her back. Jamie was too scared to make any noise or ask for help. the entire couch was filled with his men and they were looking at what he was doing to her and did absolutely nothing. Jamie managed to get out at the very next station and decided to head back home. She was not in the shape of going to the mall.

Ever since that incident, Jamie was very much traumatized of crowded place and tall big framed men. She would squeeze whatever solid object that was beside her to overcome the fear when she saw any suspicious man. As time passed by, everything seemed to be a little scarier than it was. 

Slowly, Jamie became scared of darkness. She could not sleep at night. She would keep the lights on all night because she was not ready to face the darkness. Jamie avoided going out after 7 pm. One night, as Jamie was sleeping, a tall guy dressed fully in navy blue jumped into her room from the window. Jamie tried to jump off her bed and run out of her room to safe her dear life. But that merciless guy was ripping her t-shirt off and was trying to grip her by her waist. She cried and shouted when she realized she was in her room and no one was there. It was a plain nightmare. The similar nightmare started haunting her every night. As days passed by, Jamie was very much scared to fall asleep at night. She would keep herself awake all night. She was losing weight and dark rings were developing around her eyes. 

Jamie bought herself a  glass of apple juice and sat down on a table in the cafe.
"Hey! How are you doing Jamie?" A familiar voice greeted from her back. Jamie slowly turned around to find it was her very close friend Denis. Denis smiled warmly to her and took the seat opposite her. Jamie could not stop smiling. It has been a really long time since she last met him and she truly missed him.

"Are you okay Jamie? You look disturbed."

"Why? I'm perfectly fine."

"You have never said otherwise Jamie. But I can certainly see the difference. You have lose weight and you look pale and haggard".

Jamie was quiet. She really wanted to burst out and tell him about the rough time she was going through.

"Denis. I am not 100% sure if I am okay. You went missing for sometime. Well I know you were busy and I did not want to bother you".

"You never bothered me Jamie. Come on tell me what happened."

Jamie sipped her apple drink while making a decision if she should or should not tell him. She decided to tell him everything since he was someone she adored and loved a lot and most importantly Denis was a soul she trusted the most. She told him whatever that has happened in her life leaving Denis in a shocked state.

Denis decided to take care of Jamie. Jamie was his best friend and the bond they shared was beyond words. Denis thought that he has the responsibilities to help Jamie out. Denis started spending time with Jamie everyday. Jamie was suffering from severe lack of appetite. Denis would everyday take her out for dinner and make her eat proper food on time. Denis then made Jamie understand that it was safe to go out after 7 pm with him. He would take her around the town and bring her to nice parks to feed fishes. Slowly, Jamie started recovering from all the depression and the problems she was going through.

All of a sudden, Denis became busy again. Seeing him even for once a week became almost impossible. He would not text her and Jamie felt he was avoiding her. She became even worst than what she was before. Previously, the trauma of being sexually assaulted was haunting her, now its the thought of someone she adored so much is avoiding her killed her slowly. She missed going out with him and having dinner with him along with the long talks about life and people around them. His priorities changed. He was no longer in a state of taking care of her. He was too tired of too much of commitments.

Jamie decided to let go of Denis. Denis was just a friend for her and his world was not at all revolving around her. Denis decided to make her feel to be at the top of the world and made up his mind to shatter her into pieces. Those days where she was very much comfortable with him and the days where she shared almost everything will now be a treasured memory.

Jamie moved to her side holding the book against her chest. She knew that expectations hurt. Letting someone into our life is a big thing because we would never know when one will get overly attached to someone and when the other person start avoiding, it will mentally destroy them. She knew that, she has to overcome her fears herself because she was a hero of her own. The truth is, she doesn't care anymore. Well, no one does so why should Jamie care? She then slowly fell asleep with the book still pressed against her chest.